So what’s it all about, why are we here, does this journey of our life lead anywhere? Believe me, you start considering this stuff a LOT more when you're past 60!
Is our life just a kind of bumpy bus ride from nowhere to nowhere, with a mysterious driver, over which we have no control?
Well, all religious beliefs give their own answers. Organised religion didn't “take" with me - I was a natural skeptic even as a child, asked too many damn questions in Sunday School!
This blog has been in draft for a long time. It's a welcome break from the stress of our General Election to return to it! This is a long read, but it takes a bit of explaining, so please bear with me.
For most of my life I've had a sneaky interest in Reincarnation. I grew up during the 1960s-70s, too young to be an actual Hippy, but with all the debris of the Hippy-era scattered around me.
Young Westerners during my childhood were taking their gap years on the Hippy-Trail, through Europe and the near East to their Gurus in India or Tibet, in a haze of Marijuana and Sitar music. So were the celebs of the time, notably The Beatles.
Two of my favourite books were written in my impressionable early teens: Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach (1970) and Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (1970).
“Jonathan” is a fantasy about how Reincarnation might work, and “Zen" describes the actual experience of the Author going on the Hippy Trail and exploring Eastern Mysticism. Both books were wildly popular bestsellers, and still have the power to bring tears to my eyes, after 50 years.
So having started a journey of exploration into my natural Paganism during the enforced idleness of the Plandemic, (you can read more on earlier blogs here, and on my YouTube channel, Radical Cartoons), it seemed logical to try a “Past-Life Regression”, out of pure curiosity.
I have used hypnotism for healing very successfully over the last few years. I find it helps me to relax, gets rid of anxiety, and resets bad habits like alcoholism, for example. I've been to real-life hypnotists and used CDs and online sessions.
You can see my account of beating Alcoholism with hypnotism here:
So hypnotism doesn't scare me. The most regular type I use these days is the simple “talk down to sleep”, of which there are many examples, freely available on the internet.
In 2022 I started watching an online paranormal researcher/hypnotist based in Gloucester, not too far from my home, Paul Goddard. He has uploaded several actual “past-life regressions” to his YouTube channel - with the permission of his clients, of course.
And in February last year I booked a session with him. So if you have never been “put under” you might be wondering by now what it's like.
Well, always remember that hypnotism is a healing tool, nothing more. Not everyone can relax enough to go into a mild trance. Even though those incidents, which we've all experienced, when you go into a room and forget why you've done it; or “the zone" that some runners and long-distance walkers talk about, are both examples of self-induced mild hypnosis. Another example is youngsters at raves, spending hours of repetitive dancing, with rythmic music so loud they can't think about anything.
The hypnotist leads you into the trance and, at the end, commands you to come out of it. They all use similar techniques - getting you to silently counting backwards, or imagine walking down stairs, while you listen to their soothing voice.
So if it doesn't work for you, (neither of you know if it's going to work if you're a new customer), you and the hypnotist should have made a written agreement about either a reduced fee, or a free future session. And they should check you're ok afterwards, even have a cup of tea and a chat with you.
Some people prefer male voices, some female. This is where trying it out first with free online sessions is helpful.
The hypnotist will have a quiet room, with dimmed lighting, a glass of water for you, access to a loo, and yes, a box of tissues. Depending on the reason you seek out their services, you might have a strong emotional reaction.
My very first “past-life regression” with Paul was like previous hypnosis I've experienced - and not. Firstly, I didn't find it easy. If you wish, you can see it online, plus a debrief we did a few weeks later with two members of the Warren Legacy Foundation for Paranormal Research. (Links below).
You will see me shivering, and Paul asks me at one point if I feel cold. During hypnosis you are perfectly aware that you are in the room with the hypnotist, and can talk quite normally with them. You are not asleep, only in a light trance.
In fact, the shivering was adrenaline nerves. Yes, I think, for all my innate skepticism, I did find it a little scary. The only other time I've experienced that shivering was in the middle of treatment for my heart condition years ago, when they keep you awake with Adrenaline!
I didn't know quite what to expect, what I would see, if anything. Some people are congenitally unable to make pictures in their heads, which as an artist, I can't even fathom. Such a person would obviously NOT be a good hypnotic subject!
I’d watched some of Paul's other regressions online and the variety of the visions and stories his clients have come up with is amazing. They’ve found themselves in all eras of history and either sex, from the deep past, to only a few years before their birth in this life.
Paul led me through a preliminary exercise of imagining myself in a favourite place where I felt safe and happy. That was easy, I chose a favourite spot on one of my country walks.
Then another, to imagine standing outside my own front door, and lifting myself off the ground to go up like a bird, to view my neighbourhood from above, then back down again. I had to describe to him what I saw - naturally this is not something I had done in reality!
That one I found harder, it seemed to work in jerks, like old film going through a projector. I could feel that shivering starting. The next stage was the regression proper. Paul tends to use the technique of taking you down a corridor with many closed doors in it. He invites you to choose a door which attracts you, which will lead to a “past life” which is meaningful to you.
You will notice that I have been carefully putting the words “past-life” in quotation marks. This is because I don't believe the visions that I (and all the other regression clients have) are really our past lives. And this is not to belittle in any way the religious belief in Reincarnation, in its many forms, shared by millions of the world's population.
Nor is it to belittle the skills of the hypnotists, which are remarkable, and I believe, a crucial clue to what is happening with the worldwide experiences of “the Phenomena", UFOs, ghosts, crypyids. In fact I think all paranormal researchers should use hypnotists as a valuable resource.
But on to my own regression. At the prompting of the hypnotist, you describe what you see and experience when you open your chosen door.
At first I only saw a cloudiness, which gradually solidified into a countryside scene. At this point I must make an important observation. Although the vision was immersive (I could feel myself move my head to look around 360 degrees), full colour, fully formed and coherent, there was an important element missing: sound.
Paul directed me to look at what I was wearing, go to where I lived, describe my “past life” as I was seeing it, and the other people in it. Sometimes he asked questions like “What is your name”, “Do you know the name of the town ”? If you believe in this, then part of the logic is that the vast majority of people in the past would have been working-class or under-class, and probably illiterate. So they may not even have known the name of their country or town. The hypnotist then says something like “it's ok, maybe that'll come to you later”.
As the hypnotism progressed, he asked me to jump to different points in the life I was envisioning. “Now you're in your twentieth year, now your fiftieth, what's happening”? Etc He even guides you up to and past your “death".
Psychiatry has a word for this detailed building of imaginary storylines, it's “confabulation". So although I saw a coherent vision of a life as a Mid-European serving-woman in a Convent in the time of the great famine (around the 1310s), I don't believe this was a real past life.
I did come up with a place name (Utrecht, where I've never been, know nothing about, and had zero prior interest in), a large church in some detail, and the working clothes I wore. And it was possible afterwards to try and identify the locality. The life I imagined under hypnosis was very plausible for the period in history.
But what was missing from the experience was sound, and any fellow-feeling with other people I saw. It was like a long, involved dream. The difference was that unlike a dream, this held it's consistency and didn't jump about or disintegrate into nonsense like dreams do. Clearly this is due to the guidance of the hypnotist.
The lack of feeling for for the people who were supposed to be my previous family, was another indication to me that this was a fantasy. Surely an actual “visit” to your past life would include empathy with family?
But some belivers will argue that actually, that speaks to it being true, because of this “Soul Contracts” stuff - that you get regularly reincarnated with the same bunch of people, who have agreed to “act out” their roles, as family, friends, and enemies, in order to help you resolve your issues.
This seems an immensely selfish - and westernized- view of life, (it's all about “me, me, me”).
Even if that were true, I still don't think there would be no emotional involvement with them in these “regressions”.
Although very interesting and vivid, it did NOT make me want to have another go, and see if maybe next time I might be a Neanderthal, or one of these little grey chaps so many people are seeing!
I felt that it was a healing experience, which is what all hypnotism is. At one point you hear me say to Paul “now I know why I'm seeing this”. It DID have a meaning for me, it helped me to let go of some serious mental baggage, which is very personal and I can't explain it here.
I do feel I'm a more relaxed, laid back person than before I went to Paul. But was it a past life? I don't think so!
You are welcome to watch both the regression and the debrief on Paul's channel and see what you think. The debrief: https://www.youtube.com/live/me0TlWwte8E?si=jUELxREp8Z6-itMd The regression:
Interesting stuff but if you’re fortunate enough to live a long life that’s enough for anyone. I’m glad you didn’t become a believer!
Fabulous introspective piece Stella!
As I'm nearing 70, more insights about so many things seem to be bubbling up for me. Deepens the perspective on a lot of things!